The Importance Of Being Fully Present with your soulmate. - ROMANCE and RELATIONSHIPS. - Каталог статей - Russian brides или русские невесты. ВСЕ о знакомствах!
The Importance Of Being Fully Present with your soulmate.
The Importance Of Being Fully Present with your soulmate.
Wouldn’t it be great if you and your partner became the excellent listeners you once were? For example, remember when the two of you talked like best friends who truly cared about each other. What did it feel like to have a soul mate who was 100 percent there for you? Wouldn't you like to have that sense of deep connection again in your conversations?
Those early days of your relationship when you both made sure to set aside time each day or each week to catch up on what was happening with each other. Have you forgotten what that was like? Do you know why you've stopped making your moments together a high priority?
You may have had moments when you both felt completely understood and appreciated by the other, and maybe the two of you felt like passionate co-conspirators facing the obstacles and challenges of life together. Is this why you fell in love?
It is important to remember how amazing it feels when you are absolutely in the current moment connecting with your loved one. Yet to be fully present with the person you love deeply is not easy to accomplish. Not only do we have busy lives and lots to deal with, but we find it risky to open up and be fully known by another human being. On a stressful day when your brain and nervous system get battered and fried, how do you show up and be there 100 percent in the current moment with a partner who might also be exhausted or agitated?
Ways to improve your listening skills:
No one wants to be a lousy listener. You come home from work and you're trying to describe the ups and downs of your day." Yet even if you're highly respected as a good listener in your job, you might still need to overcome the tendency to avoid your long-term partner or your kids and head straight for the sofa.
There are three things you can do to master the art of being a good listener, even on a stressful day: take time to unwind, set aside time each day to find out what is going on with each other, and find a few things each day to appreciate about one another.
Umwinding:
It's going to take more than good intentions if you want to be fully present for each other after a stressful day. Instead of going on automatic pilot when you're at home and slipping into impatience or grumpiness, you can use this exercise to manually adjust your focus and breathing at the moment your beloved partner needs you to be fully present. Instead of getting distracted, you can become the exquisite listener that a great partnership requires.
You will need to set aside five quiet minutes to remind yourself, "I'm not at work any longer. I'm about to enter a different atmosphere where my loved ones are hoping they'll have a good listener or will it be a cranky, impatient, burned-out basket case they've had to endure so many times in the past. The quality of my relationship depends on whether I am present or closed minded."
During this five- or ten-minutes you may also meditate or say a prayer to reconnect with that calm place deep inside yourself. You could say something like, "Please help me open my heart even though my body is tired."You can imagine yourself coming back from an alien, hostile environment while at the same time slowing your breathing. You are now entering a completely different world than one you've been in the past several hours."
The main idea here is to move away from the mind set you were in at work, you know the "get to the point already" tone that might be useful at work but would be disastrous at home. Breathe deeply as you envision yourself turning back into a loving partner-and a caring and patient parent if you have kids.
As you walk up to your front door, you should be ready to approach your loved ones with your most compassionate self. The moment before you say "Hello" or "How are you?" to your loved ones, take a deep breath and remind yourself, "The person I'm about to talk to is more important than any client, customer, boss, colleague, or phone caller I've spoken to today. I better show up fully available for this next conversation because nothing else is as important as these precious moments together.
Even if your partner or your kids start right in saying something you've heard before, remind yourself that you can still be a calm and patient listener. As your partner begins to speak, if you notice that your impatience, irritability, or desire to interrupt is welling up, be sure to catch yourself and say silently, "Don't be a jerk. Don't be the lousy listener who can ruin a good relationship. Right now I'm definitely tired, but I'm still capable of listening with a completely open heart. This is the moment to prove whether I'm a great partner or a cranky burden for my loved ones."
What you say to yourself to disconnect from your stressed-out mood is up to you. Make this a part of your daily routine and the payoff will be great. Having a have a soul mate who is 100 percent there for and vice versa is worth all the effort and much more.
I hope this has been helpful, good luck on your adventure...
